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I’m feeling low on hugs. I need more daily hugs! This must be a sign that I’m losing connections with people on campus. This being my last quarter here, I need to make a conscious effort to meet up with the people I haven’t seen on campus in a while. I may never see them again after I’m done with my classes! If there’s one important thing I’ve learned while at UCSD, it’s that maintaining close bonds and finding identity are crucial factors in overall motivation for success. Now to shut up and keep to my word…

03:33 pm, BY lisaplvu[2 notes]

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I was looking through my high school senior project and found this gem that just made me laugh haha We had to choose a side to advocate for a topic and write a poem about it.

I was looking through my high school senior project and found this gem that just made me laugh haha We had to choose a side to advocate for a topic and write a poem about it.

05:30 pm, BY lisaplvu[1 note]

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As each day passes, I realize more and more that I am excellent at being dissatisfied. I’ve been finding it easy to feel lonely at the end of the night. I’m laying here thinking that there’s not one person in this world who knows me like I crave for someone to know me (if that makes sense). I want someone around who just makes me want to share all of my thoughts effortlessly without worrying if I’ll sound stupid or uninteresting. I want someone who, at the end of the day, will rock me to sleep in my thoughts as they run their fingertips across every surface of my brain, eager to understand every last bit. Does anyone really have that person? If they do, I’d consider them quite lucky.

01:30 am, BY lisaplvu[2 notes]

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Hello there, it’s been a short while here. As a little update on myself, I’ve been feeling much better now than I was a couple months ago but I’m not quite where I wish I was. Being on vacation has not only showed me the preciousness of time spent with my loved ones, but also the realization that the place I do call “home” is my house in San Diego. I just don’t fit in well up here in Nor Cal as much as I’d like. Of course I would assimilate over time, but so far it just doesn’t feel right. Maybe I’m just a bit too homesick. I miss my bed so much. I miss feeling comfortable. But don’t get me wrong, I have been enjoying all the time I’m exploring in SF and of course all of the food I’ve had! I admire the architecture here; the uniqueness of every building could distract me from block to block. I’ve got just a little over a week left to be a tourist! I’ll definitely make the most of it (:

Hello there, it’s been a short while here. As a little update on myself, I’ve been feeling much better now than I was a couple months ago but I’m not quite where I wish I was. Being on vacation has not only showed me the preciousness of time spent with my loved ones, but also the realization that the place I do call “home” is my house in San Diego. I just don’t fit in well up here in Nor Cal as much as I’d like. Of course I would assimilate over time, but so far it just doesn’t feel right. Maybe I’m just a bit too homesick. I miss my bed so much. I miss feeling comfortable. But don’t get me wrong, I have been enjoying all the time I’m exploring in SF and of course all of the food I’ve had! I admire the architecture here; the uniqueness of every building could distract me from block to block. I’ve got just a little over a week left to be a tourist! I’ll definitely make the most of it (:

11:49 pm, BY lisaplvu[4 notes]

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Am I really that strange for not having a single care in the world for smoking weed? I’ve never been curious enough to try it and my opinion is not going to change unless I develop disease that would be relieved by it. Recreational weed smoking is honestly a turn-off to me, so why would I do it myself? I hate the smell and I can’t even handle the secondhand smoke, so why would I want it directly in my system? I don’t care how many people tell me that I should try it at least once. It seriously does not matter to me. I don’t care how many people tell me that I’m not open-minded because I won’t try it. My brain is just fine without it. I don’t care if you agree with me or not. You do your thing and I’ll do mine.

11:09 pm, BY lisaplvu[3 notes]

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I haven’t cried in over 2 weeks! This is progress!

10:21 pm, BY lisaplvu

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I’m trying to work on building my self-confidence. First step: learn to accept compliments.

11:26 pm, BY lisaplvu[2 notes]

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I’m definitely in a much better place now than I was a week ago. It feels good! I think a crucial part of the turnaround was getting the negative energy out of this house. You wouldn’t believe how much nicer our house is now without all that mess and B.S. I feel like I can call this place “home” again, where I’m appreciated and don’t have to deal with the passive aggressiveness that was bringing my spirits down. I’m just so thankful for the people I have kept in my life and the ones who keep me in theirs, and I’m thankful that I still have another year to build wonderful memories in this home.

11:45 pm, BY lisaplvu

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1) A boy telling you you’re pretty won’t make you see the beauty in the fullness of your cheeks, in redness of your lips at 2 in the morning when tequila is making the bar bathroom spin. He can’t take away the ugliness that you see in yourself, you have to do that.

2) You have to be ready to hear someone say they love you. You have to be ready, and you have to be willing, and you have to listen. Because sometimes, they won’t say those three words, they’ll put a blanket over you while you’re watching a movie, they’ll kiss your cheek when they think you’re asleep, they’ll smile when they see you first thing in the morning. But you, you have to be willing to see it, feel it, let it in. Letting someone love you takes practice.

3) Don’t make compromises you can’t live with. Compromise is a different version of what you want, not a whole other Universe.

4) Learn to say no. No - to a movie you don’t want to watch; no - to sex you don’t want to have, no- to a relationship that’s driving you mad. Say no - to things that hurt you, to people that extinguish your fire, to jobs you hate and places that are desolate. There are bad things that we can’t control, bad things that happen and we are sucked into and have to feel with every fibre of our being, but the rest - learn to distance yourself, learn to say no.

5) Don’t expect people to walk through fire for you - not your parents, not your friends, not the person you’re in love with. Love doesn’t mean sacrifice, love shouldn’t mean sacrifice. Don’t expect someone to give away pieces of them, so they could fit you better. And don’t feel hurt when they refuse to - it’s self-preservation. Instead - learn from them. Do it as well.

6) Don’t tether yourself to people. Learn to make connections, to love, with both your feet steady on the ground. Learn to let people pass through your life; like a summer breeze, not a storm that’s just been unleashed.

7) Learn the difference between growth and growing up before it’s too late. Rooftops and water fights and ice cream for breakfast can be a part of your life at 10, 25, or 35. But by the time you’re 35 you need to learn to say enough, to be able to walk away, you need to be able to love yourself. Love yourself the way you loved yourself at 10, before the world had a chance to fill your head with ugliness.

m.v., The list of things I learned before turning 22, pt.1. (via findingwordsforthoughts)

(via jomariresare)


11:16 pm, BY lisaplvu[56,449 notes]

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I started procrastinating on Tumblr (of course) and decided to flip back to some of my older posts. Everything I read from exactly a year ago is everything that I’ve been thinking now. I’ve definitely relapsed and this time I can’t blame it on the birth control. Maybe it’s the weather? I don’t know. Life is so complicated.

10:01 pm, BY lisaplvu[1 note]

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I’m really considering going to a meditation retreat or at least attend a meditation class. I think that I’m the kind of person who could really benefit from it.

02:46 pm, BY lisaplvu[1 note]

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I’m not the type of person who can just sit here and watch. I am always going to try and think of a solution or an alternative. I feel so infuriated when someone stops me from doing that. My opinions are my own and you don’t have to agree with them, but at least let me give my two cents before you assume I don’t know anything.

01:17 am, BY lisaplvu[3 notes]